


Castiel's books

by Morethancupcake



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Books, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Jealous Dean, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but just mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:16:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel build a relationship around books. Somewhere between exes and boyfriends, Dean falls in love with books, and Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Castiel's books

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers : I have NOTHING against trashy novels and Nora Roberts. Castiel is a snob, and I'm sorry about that.

Castiel is still nursing his iced tea when Dean finds him in Sammy's guest room, studying the garden outside. The party downstair is getting loud, people are a little too drunk. Dean doesn't mind, not really. Of course, a drink would be nice, even just a beer, but it's behind him, now. He knocks at the door, and Castiel's eyes are almost glowing in the dark.

"I'm sorry. It was getting a little too much." His smile is a little contrite. "It's your room, right ? I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Dean doesn't bother with the light and steps closer. The moon is bright enough for them to see. Everything is bathed in white. "I know how you feel, I guess I'm not really into parties anymore. Getting old."

"We probably are the oldest here." Cas nods a few times, and his eyes stops at the book on the bed. "Are you really reading it ?" Dean thinks about lying, he has a dozen of explanations on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't bother because he feels at ease, here, with Castiel. 

"I do. You have a problem with cow-boys finally finding love ?"

Castiel's laugh is like thunder, it's a force of nature, and Dean feels goosebumps where it rolls on his skin.

 

They see each other again in summer. Sammy and Cas' boyfriend, Joseph, organize a surprise for his birthday. There's a barbecue, and ice cream cake, and people laughing around. Dean and Sammy stick together, mostly because they don't really know most of these people. They meet Cas' brothers, and some friends he mentioned. They smile for pictures, and they sing and clap with everyone else. Sammy escapes after a while, and Dean catches him in the kitchen, laughing with a woman they met a little earlier, helping him with the dishes.

Dean waits a little. He chats with Cas' brothers, and laughs at the embarassing stories. 

When everything turns dark, and most of the guests are away, he finds himself too comfortable to move from the softness of Cas' couch. He opens his eyes at the blanket on his shoulders.

"It's okay, Dean." Cas doesn't really whisper, so he guesses he's the last one left. "You can stay if you want. Everyone left, and you're probably too tired to drive ?"

He should argue, but the couch is really comfortable, and it smells nice inside, like Cas, and lavender. Cas' chuckle makes him think he said it out loud.

"You can sleep in the guest room, I probably have things that would fit you."

"You don't have to." Cas yawns, and he scratched his stomach, and it shouldn't look cute on a grown-up, except it does. "Okay, I see, lead the way."

The guest room's bed is even nicer, and the pjs Cas found him are soft and comfortable. Castiel is at his door, his body a dark shadow against the light from outside.

"You have everything you need ? Feel free to grab food, or anything you need, if you wake up before me."

"Any chance you have a book with cow boys ?" Their laugh is tired, and good. Shared. Dean doesn't do this, he doesn't know what it is, really. It's softer than what he shares with the girls he sees, it's sweeter than the easy banter with Sam. It's nice. 

"I believe the cleaning lady left a Nora Robert in the bathroom, if you must."

"'Night Cas."

"Goodnight Dean."

 

Castiel looks at the book, then back at his face. The disgust and amusement are fighting on his face. 

"This is disgusting, Dean."

"No it's not !" The black eyebrows challenge him, so he chuckles and try to explain. "Okay, okay, it's a little bit trashy. Okay, really trashy but it's fun, really."

"I am afraid of even moving it." Dean isn't ashamed, he's never ashamed with Cas. They hang out, just like now, and it's easy. He grabs the book and puts it on the corner of the coffee table, getting their plates in front of them.

"It's just... it's easy, okay ? I get a happy ending, they find love and live happily ever after in a ranch lost somewhere. I don't need to think."

"Dean, the lady is held by three men on the cover."

"Who are you to judge love ?"

Cas grabs his arm when he's laughing too hard, and Dean thinks he really likes this dorky guy.

 

He's walking from his... thing with Lisa when he sees Cas, sitting in the coffee shop. He's wearing his glasses, and his hand his buried in his hair, and when Dean puts a cup of coffee in front of him, Dean swear he can see galaxies in these blue eyes.

"What are you reading ?" he asks, because it's easy, it's a joke between them. It's easier than the reason why Cas is there so early on a Sunday morning. He catches the title. "Mathilda ? Isn't it for kids ?"

"You never read it ?" Dean shakes his head. "It's just..." Cas closes his eyes, and breathes out. He looks old, suddenly. Old and tired. "Like you said. Sometimes, it's just good not to think, and wait for the happy ending."

The book is well-loved and forgotten for breakfast, and a walk around the city. When Dean parks into Cas' driveway, Cas leaves it on his seat. 

 

"I liked it." Sam and Gabriel, Castiel's brother, are making a mess in the kitchen, and probably murdering each other. Castiel is painting a small bookshelf, and Dean is sitting next to him, drinking his coffee in the sun. Castiel's garden smells like autumn, it's fresh and crisp. "Mathilda. I really liked it."

They eat together, and it's just like family should be. When he leaves, Castiel doesn't say a word and hands him a tired copy of The Secret Garden.

He spends the rest of Sunday at Lisa's, and he reads while she watches shows he doesn't really get. 

"Aren't you a little old for these ?" she jokes, when they're putting their clothes back. 

"Probably." he says, kissing her cheeks.

He finishes it curled up in his bed, with a cup of cocoa. Outside, it rains and the wind is punishing. He feels warm.

 

Joseph is shy, and sweet. He's handsome, too. And fashionable. He's a great cook, and invites them over for dinner. He listens a lot, and Dean wishes he could hate him, but no, nothing to fuel his jealousy. Castiel holds his hand, and kisses his cheek, and Dean tries to deal with this weird feeling, because he has no reason to be this jealous, except he is. 

When asked about his favorite book, he smiles and talk about Gatbsy. 

 

"I want to read it." Castiel is putting books on his new shelf when Dean finally says it. "Gatsby. I want to read it." 

"You won't like it." Castiel's eyes are searching his. Dean avoids him, and puts the book safely in his jacket before running away. 

Cas is right. He doesn't like it.

 

"Don't let me borrow books like this." Cas smiles, and opens the door wider, letting him in. He's wearing faded grey pjs, and his big glasses. The house smells like ginger, and he guides Dean to the couch. "It made me think. I didn't like it."

"You're quoting Calvin at me." And this makes him stop. He gapes at Cas, who's back with a cup of something sweet and ginger-y 

"You know Calvin and Hobbes ?"

"Of course I know them, Dean. I have them all, here, somewhere."

They read, both under the blankets, and when Dean wakes up, Cas is sleeping on the other side of the couch, snoring. 

 

Lisa dumps him, one morning. He grabs his phone, and she left him a fucking message. A message, explaining how they aren't good to each other. It stings, because they weren't in love, but they were something, and he deserves better. 

He doesn't drink, she isn't worth it.

He sleeps in Cas' guest room, and he hears Joseph whisper in the hallway. 

"If I wanted to win her back, what would you recommend ?" He's in Cas' office, his coffee a little cold, one of his socks lost somewhere. He feels safe, here, close to Cas.

"Well, Poetry. French poets can do wonders to win someone back." Cas' smile is sad, and he hugs Dean for a while, a hand cupping the back of his head. Dean burries his face into his neck, and tries to understand the butterflies in his chest.

He doesn't take any of the books back home. Castiel hands him Flowers for Algernon, and he cries in his pillow until he falls asleep. In the morning, he deletes Lisa's number from his phone, and goes on with his life.

 

For Christmas, Castiel wraps up the whole Harry Potter collection and places it under Dean and Sam's tree. He goes to his family, and Dean misses him.

 

Dean figures out his crush is probably more than a crush on New Year's Eve. Castiel is a little drunk, after meeting some of Joseph's friends.

"They're so young." he says to Dean like he's in pain. "They're so young, and carefree. I can't understand, really, what he's doing with me." Dean snorts, and he gets comfortable in the kitchen. It smells like good food, and pie. They're both wearing pjs, because they both decided on a little nerd party tonight. He's happy, and not even Joseph is going to ruin it.

They eat together, and Castiel laughs so much he has tears running down his face. Tipsy Cas is adorable, and he flops onto the couch, half onto Dean's shoulder when they decide to indulge in yet another Die Hard marathon. 

It's way past midnight when they realise they missed the countdown. Both of their phones are forgotten somewhere, and Dean feels too exhausted to go and find them. He knows the way to the guest room, and when Cas somes to wish him goodnight, he doesn't stop at the door, but sits on the bed instead.

"Happy New Year, Dean." his smile is soft. "It was a good year, I hope ?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you helped with that."

This is it, he knows. Another of their moments, whatever it is. He loves Cas, he thinks suddenly. What he feels, right now, he knows it, because he felt it before. For Cassie, when he was too young and not careful with his heart. For Lisa, that first time. Except it's strong, so strong it's almost choking him. 

"Hey Cas." he whispers. "Happy New Year."

Castiel's lips are soft, and he tastes like toothpaste, and sleep. 

 

In the morning, Joseph is sleeping in their bed, and Dean feels like his heart is ripped in two when he sees them together. 

 

Joseph leaves, and he kisses Cas with eyes full of tears. He takes a plane to England, and he promises not to forget him. Dean doesn't ask, because he figured it was not his place. Castiel doesn't cry, he doesn't drink, or goes to bar to fuck strangers. Dean doesn't know hos to deal with him, so he just comes over with food, and movies for them to watch.

"I finished it." Castiel looks up from his plate, and Dean feels weird, suddenly, talking about the books. He doesn't want Cas to feel obligated. "Harry Potter. It was really nice. Thank you."

"I'm glad you liked it. We need to find you something else then. What would you want ?"

You he thinks, but he can't say it. Joseph is gone, but Castiel doesn't do, anything. He doesn't touch him, or kiss him, or anything. Nothing has changed, but maybe that's what Cas needs from him.

"How do you feel about a good horror story ?"

 

They spend time together. They're dating, Dean thinks, because this sure feels like it. They text during the day, and have dinner together. He sleeps in the guest room, and they read together. They don't kiss, yet, and Dean wonders how Cas' body would feel against his, but this is good, it's perfect. He's scared, but not so scared when Cas sits next to him (because he doesn't cuddle, thank you) and puts mugs of tea on the coffee table. This is good.

They're sitting together, when Dean asks about Neruda, and Castiel smiles, that soft little smile, private, Dean hopes he's the only one to see. 

"What about him ?" he asks.

"You love his poems, right ? I heard you talk about it with Sammy."

"I do. Of course I do. It's beautiful, Dean, you should read it."

"I should, uh ?"

"It's amazing, Dean." He drinks from his cup, and smiles. "I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees." The words brushes past them, and Dean can't stand it anymore. "Isn't it just amazing ?"

He holds Cas' face, and kiss him. 

 

"Dean ?" Castiel looks puzzled, and he moves away with a little laugh. "What is this about ?"

"I can't kiss my boyfriend ?"

 

The smile dies from his lips. 

 

"Dean, please, stop." Castiel tries to hold him when he puts on his jacket and grabs his keys, not bothering with he fact he's still wearing pjs, or that he hasn't been to his place in days. "It's a crush, it's normal, we all act a like crazy with our first, please..."

"Our first ?" He spits the words, and he feels so stupid. "So what it was like, a game to you ?"

"Dean please. I had no idea you..."

"Yeah, thank you for letting me know."

 

He doesn't drink, but he cries. 

“Tonight I can write the saddest lines  
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.” 

He whispers the words and falls asleep.

 

"I'm sorry" Cas says, waiting for him in front of the autoshop. He brought them lunch, and Dean guides him to the Impala, because no one needs to hear what he's about to say. Except he doesn't say it. "I'm sorry." he repeats, his hand brushing Dean's. "I didn't know... how you felt. And I was a coward."

"I thought we were dating." Dean says, because he humiliated himself already, might as well do it completely. 

"I wanted us to." Castiel closes his eyes, his lunch forgotten at his feet. "I wanted to, but you were straight, and in love with Lisa, and..."

"I was with you !" He slams his hand on the dashboard. "I was with you, Cas, damn it !"

"I'm sorry."

 

"It's your favorite song." His lunch break is almost over, and he doesn't know what to do, but suddenly Castiel smiles at Starway to Heaven, and Dean can't help but smile back.

"You remember that ?"

"Of course I do."

 

He comes home, to Cas, and holds him close. They don't kiss, not yet. They read, together, except Castiel drags Dean to rest on his chest, until they're a tangle of limbs, and it's warm and comfortable.

"I read Neruda, you know." he says. 

"You did ?"

He watches Cas' lips and forgets to nod. 

"I did." He forgets about his book too, he doesn't really like sci-fi anyway, and puts his chin on Cas' chest.

"Did you like it ?" Castiel's hand cups the back of his head. It's so easy to get lost in the blue eyes and forget the betrayal, and the pain.

"I cried."

 

They're at the bar, with Sammy, and Gabriel, and most of their friends, really, when the song starts. He doesn't think, and just grabs Cas by the hands, manhandling him to the dancefloor, molding their bodies together. It's probably not the best place for them to dance, but he's pretty sure no one will dare do anything, not with Jo and Ellen glaring at them.

"Dean." Cas smells a little like sweat, and the beer he had. "I'm not sure this is the place."

"Shut up."

He whispers the words into Cas' hear, and it's not Neruda, and it's nothing French, but Castiel shivers in his arms, and when they kiss, it's sweet, and dirty, and hot. So hot.

Gabriel whistles, and Dean doesn't even care. Castiel holds onto him and moans into his mouth. 

 

Castiel puts his Harry Potter collection in the room. Their room. They sleep together, and he learns he likes to be the little spoon, he likes to feel small, and cherished. He likes waking up to Cas in the morning.

They're cleaning when he finds a book under the bed, on Cas' side. It's old, and in bad shape, but Castiel holds him like a treasure, and so he asks.

"Is it your favorite ?"

"I don't know ?" Cas is almost lost, it seems, he looks so far away, his fingers caressing the cover. "Yes, I think it is ?"

"Can I read it ?" 

Castiel doesn't say a word, but hands it to him. He doesn't help with the groceries, he doesn't take care of the laundry. He reads, sitting in the kitchen, with a cup of tea getting cold next to him. He moves to Cas' office when he's back from the store, and he forgets about helping out with dinner. 

Castiel doesn't ask if he likes it. Dean is lost too, and he wants to go back to that place. He wakes up too early, and kisses Cas' forehead before slipping away, going back to the office and to the book.

 

He finishes it, and the house is still silent. He takes a shower, and gets into bed, getting himself inside his boyfriend's arms.

"Are you okay ?" The deep voice cracks, but Cas kisses his cheek, making a little sound when he feels tears against his lips.

"It was amazing." he says. 

 

"You changed my life." He's at this wonderful place, between sleep and reality, and he whispers again the skin in front of him. "You changed my life." Castiel is still sleeping, breathing slowly. 

He sleeps.

 

Coda :

 

Castiel is panting under him, fingers still holding on to the sheets. His eyes are dark, pupils wide, and his lips are so red Dean goes for a kiss, and then another, Ebecause his mouth is a sin, and he can't help himself, heaven be damned.

"Where the Hell did you learn to do that ?" he pants against his lips, and his laugh borders on hysterical. This is not their first time, far from it, but Dean still feels a little shy, not so confident with this new flavor of sex.

"Well, what do you think I learned from these trashy novels ?" Castiel holds his face in his hands and laughs, still breathless.

"Do you know more ?" 

"Remember the one with the three cow boys ?"

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so if you're curious, this is the song playing at the bar 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usulbsg2e5g
> 
> And this is Castiel's favorite book 
> 
> https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4929.Kafka_on_the_Shore?ac=1
> 
>  
> 
> You can find this story (and me) on tumblr, if you're a cool kid.
> 
> http://iwanttopizzamanyou.tumblr.com/post/123986855024/castiels-books
> 
> Nice comments and kudos make me really happy !


End file.
